Friday, March 2

Looking somewhere..


It's been so many moons now since my last entry. I spent many late hours sitting in front of this so-called "idle word processor'. It seems that I'm losing all the ideas and the energy to create some stuff. My brain isn't functioning to the way it was before. I'm sorting out and taking some grasps in a lot of possibilities. Life is made of realistic and unrealistic possibilities that manage to take us away to where our souls can fly. But, sometimes the case is not always perfectly what it seems to be. Before you can cross the road it really gave us a sense of insecurities and risks that eventually will determine our end fate. Basically, we never own our lives. We're just like a voyagers looking forward to a fulfilling and exciting journey at the end of it all. Likewise, to what they say "we are the masters of our fate."

Thursday, December 14

The trouble with thy self...



But don't you see that the whole trouble lies here. In words, words. Each one of us has within him a whole world of things, each man of us his own special world. And how can we ever come to an understanding if I put in the words I utter the sense and value of things as I see them; while you who listen to me must inevitably translate them according to the conception of things each one of you has within himself. We think we understand each other, but we never really do.

-Luigi Pirandello, Six Characters in Search of an Author

Thursday, September 14

Information: Idiopathic Osteolysis Multicentric (Carpotarsal)

Idiopathic Multicentric Osteolysis is a rare syndrome that manifests with progressive loss of carpal and tarsal bones in childhood. It typically manifests in early childhood with painful swelling of wrists and feet, and is associated with progressive deformity and radiographic evidence of disappearance of the carpal and tarsal bones. The disease is progressive and may lead to severe deformities and disabilities in late adolescence or early adulthood.

The Clinical Syndrome is categorized into five types all of which have onset of symptoms in early childhood. Three types are hereditary, while two are sporadic.

Idiopathic osteolysis comprises a group of rare diseases characterized by progressive resorption of bones, primarily in the hands and feet. In multicentric variety, as the name implies, there is more than one osteolytic focus. The osteolysis may progress for years, causing severe deformities and serious functional disabilities. Chronic renal failure is frequent component of this syndrome. Mental retardation and minor facial abnormalities have been noted in some patients.

The causes of Idiopathic Osteolysis of all types are unknown.

Table: CLASSIFICATION OF CARPOTARSAL OSTEOLYSIS BY Hardegger et al (1)

Type: 1

Inheritance : Autosomal dominant

Renal Disease: Infrequent proteinuria in some cases

Other findings: Multicentric osteolysis

___________________________________________________________________________________

Type: 2

Inheritance: Autosomal recessive

Renal Disease: None

Other Findings: Multicentric osteolysis

____________________________________________________________________________________

Type: 3

Inheritance: Sporadic

Renal Disease: Severe nephropathy, possible end-stage renal

disease

Other Findings: Multicentric Osteolysis

____________________________________________________________________________________

Type: 4 (Gorham's Disease)

Inheritance: Sporadic

Renal Disease: None

Other Findings: Multicentric Osteolysis,

hemangiomatosis

_________________________________________________________________________________

Type: 5 ( Winchester's Syndrome)

Inheritance: Autosomal Recessive

Renal Disease: None

Other Findings: Multicentric Osteolysis,

corneal clouding, skin lesions

____________________________________________________________________________________

The specific carpotarsal osteolysis of this syndrome is easily differentiated from other rare hereditary bone diseases associated with nephropathy such as nail-patella syndrome ( nail dysplasia, patellar hypoplasia or aplasia) and osteo-onychondysplasia (ungual dystrophy, patellar hypoplasia or aplasia, elbow dysplasia, and iliac horns).

The natural history of idiopathic multicentric osteolysis is not modified by treatment. Therapy with vitamins, minerals, and hormones has been attempted, without significant benefit, although pain and swelling associated with flare-ups of the arthritis respond to salicylates and acetaminophen. Steroids have not proven beneficial.

In conclusion:

Multicentric osteolysis is a rare renal-rheumatologic syndrome with onset during childhood. Our patient developed end-stage renal disease at the age of 34 years, older than in any previous report of this disease. The crucial issues for clinical management are early detection and prevention of complications, as well as genetic counseling of patients and their families.

The clinical, radiologic, biochemical, and histologic manifestations of various forms of idiopathicmulticentric osteolysis are not distinctive enough to distinguish familial from sporadic cases, or to predict the probability of chronic renal failure in later years. Early recognition may allow the patient to receive optimal supportive care, although little can be done to decrease the progression of the osteolysis. This rare disease can be recognized in its earlier stages if clinicians keep the manifestations in mind. Studies in the earlier stages of this disease will provide a greater opportunity to understand the pathogenesis of this rare group ofdiseases.


Source: http://www.fma.org.tw/fagmag/pdfiles/99_3/99-3-243.pdf.

Picture:


Fig. 1. Upper extremities of the patient [(A) clinically and (B) radiologically] showing painless, non-swollen, healed but destroyed joints.

This picture is not my hands but it resembles mine. It is the hands of a patient who has the same diagnosis just like mine. I hope it can help some of those people who are needed an information like me and my mom used to before.

Thursday, September 7

Sick & Damn Tired!


I'm feeling sick today due to weather changes. These past few days it rain a lot especially in the evening and afternoon. My head is aching and I have a sore throat. I have taken some meds this lunch but I don't think it would be enough. The pain and discomfort is still there. Like what I feel last few days, maybe I was lack of sleep that's why my immune system becomes weak. At the same time, my mind is bombarded by some anxieties coming out of my way. Poor me!

Anyway, I got the chance to sleep even for just an hour. This morning I chatted some with some of my friends on-line. It's nice chatting with them, virtual friends who I truly know personally lol!

I hope the next day, I'll get better soon. I really wanted to get out, have some life. I'm getting bored everyday. There's no stuff to enjoy at home but for me to have a countless series of blogging. I know, this blog account has been neglected for almost months now, but I still keep on coming back. Nothing happened so much today. Maybe someday soon, everything has its time.

I wanted to get back to school or just continue my education so that my time will be productive everyday. Wow! my nose are filled with the streams of fluid, I hate having cold! My head are getting heavier! I hate my life! I hate those people who ruined my life!

yea, I've been acting so strange. Maybe I'm thinking too much! Poor me!

Tuesday, September 5

Maybe someday soooon....

Here I am again, I just can't sleep. Feels like there's something wrong with me. This is because of this continuous fear that stucked in my chest and head. I feel like a bit dizzy tonight. I hope that this fear fades away. How I wish that there's no such thing as a NIGHT. Because of the incident happened almost a week ago, I can still feel the same fear that I felt that night. How I wish I could get better soon and somehow live a normal life like used to before. I want to erase all the memories of that terrible night. I know, I am being stupid now. I wish I could release all the tensions and fear. Maybe blogging is the answer. What else? There's a lot more to say but I'm running out of words to say. I hope next week there's something good happened or somehow to learned to forget it all.

My head is getting heavy. My heart is beating fast. I have a feeling that I'm getting too nervous over the things in my imagination. I really want to sleep but what if the same situation happened again. NO, I need not to be worried because Jehovah is always there. But I'm just a bit worried that's all. I guess, I have all the faith in Him.

Maybe someday sooon, I'll be better... maybe someday sooon, I'll learned to forget it... maybe someday sooon, it will be tomorrow... what do you think? (*sigh again!)

Jehovah, Our ‘Fortress in Times of Distress’






JEHOVAH is almighty. He has the power to protect his faithful worshipers in any manner he wishes. He could even separate his people physically from the rest of the world and place them in a safe and peaceful environment. However, regarding his disciples, Jesus prayed to his heavenly Father: “I request you, not to take them out of the world, but to watch over them because of the wicked one."—John 17:15.

Wednesday, August 30

A Night Full of Terror!

Two days ago, my life has been mocked by a terrible fear and anxiety. Today as I'm trying to recall all the sequence of what happen I know that it made a big impact in our household. Now I understand what it feels to be like in a state of shock or traumatized by an event you never dreamt of. It almost ruined my day and aside from that, the fact that someone can easily destroy you and the rest of your family is really frustrating and horrifying. Every seconds and every minute counts seems like a big struggle against the forces seen by your eyes and felt by your senses consciously.

That night is nothing special.

It's just an ordinary.

Everybody took it's dinner like we usually does and enjoyed an extra time watching the television. We are only four in the house. But it's not yet too long when my mom decided too have an early retire to bed which she usually does especially when the whole day is exhausting from everyday's to and fro. And aside from that, she and my younger sister went to the funeral of a friend which added an exhausting night for her. Not after that I decided to walk through my room using the walker slowly because I was feeling kinda sleepy then. While one of my sister is watching television and the other having a goodtime in the internet. She's a computer freak who always stay almost a couple of nights in front of the computer while letting her insomia goes by. Well, I can say that everybody is busy with their own kind of stuff but we're still aware of what's going on that surround us.

Not quite a minute or an hour, I almost asleep while reading the book Sybil which is about a true story of a woman who is possessed by 16 multiple personalities that evolves when she was still in her childhood years and up to the time when she went to college and adulthood. I'm not yet done with the book somehow there's still a couple of chapters to read but almost there. I really need to have something to in my hands for me to put to sleep. It's either anything like watchtower publication or a thrilling novel that awakes my curiosity. When I felt that I'm already exhausted its now my time to say my prayers. I can say that at that night everything is in a good mood. Everyone in the members of our family haven't said anything to argued about. Everything is in place. We're just waiting for the mood to sleep.

Not until the moment of unexpected events comes. My sister Neriza turn off the lights in the sala (living room) because my mom and younger sister is in their room and me of course. For sure, it was really a deafening silence that echoes all throughout the house. No talk, no murmuring sound could ever be heard except the sound of the machine (laptop). Our computer workplace is together in the living room so if someone is watching the television and using the computer, for sure it would sound damaging to the ears. Anyway, my sister is the only one in the living room doing her stuff but she's aware of what's happening that surrounds the house. At first she heard a scratch, a distinct sound that as if someone is trying to enter the house forcibly. It seems like unimportant sound that you can ignore because you're anticipating that what if it is only a cat so nothing to be worried about. But the sounds takes longer and longer. Suddenly, the annoying sound seems coming out from the window my room. Without my knowledge, something was approaching to happen.

The sound goes still. As if someone is really excited to enter the house. The intruder was trying to do all his might to enter using a coil of wire. He pushes it between my window and the window grills. It scares me really to see a black shadow of man behind my back. It was only the window glass that separate us from one another. When my sister confirm that her suspicion is right. She just calm herself and rushingly went up-stairs to tell to my mother what is going on. My mother was surprised and still didn't sink in to her mind that an intruder was inside our vicinity. Not until, she went down-stairs to check what's happening. That's the time that I am already conscious that I finally see the black shadow of man behind my back at my window.

It sends a shiver down my spine that something is wrong was happening. I became really worried what if he successfully done his job and enter the house. Without in our expectation, someone was there. A black shadowed man who was wearing a white T-shirt who was holding a coil of wire to open my window forcibly. The same person who was keep on scratching the door earlier. The first thing that I did, I force myself to get off of my bed as soon as possible. At that moment, I feel really helpless and don't know what to do. But I was never alone, I realized that Jehovah didn't leave me and the rest of my family in that kind of situation. We still manage to call someone for help and thank God that everyone is safe.

Because of that incident, everybody learn a great lesson in awareness and having a presence especially when an intruder is inside your vicinity. But still, we thank Jehovah for always being there for each and everyone of us. He is a source of strength and everything is possible for him especially for giving us protection in these last days when people love only themselves and material things that push a certain individual to do something bad to their fellow man.

Praise Jehovah and his loving-kindness! "The salvation of the righteous ones is from Jehovah; he is their fortress in the time of distress.”—PSALM 37:39.

Thursday, July 20

What a relief! Just for the moment...

Oh, gee! Here I go again, trying to make my day a little more livelier. Anyway, enough of my stupidity. I'm having a confusion here on what blog account should I update first. Well, I can say that I'm not into a good mood or rather sad feeling today. I'm just fine and happy about everything that happen yesterday. Want to know more?

I've just gone through the hospital and the doc has already taken off the casts in my both knees that is in me for almost 3 months now. I do hope everything turns out just fine. At first, I felt the nerves pumping out of my system and it makes me want to walk away. But that is impossible. I was already there and I know that there is no turning back. The moment that the doc ripped off the casts I felt a bit of uneasiness because there's something I felt that is kind of achy. I think that is because there are some wound that is still fresh and there is an iron implants at the side part of my knee. But the good news is that, the doc taken it off from my knees with no surgery or anesthesia. What a relief! Whew! #o But again the thing is that the iron implants that is still in the inside part is still there so I'm still going to undergo another surgery just to let it all out. Maybe August or September will be my next schedule... I'll keep you posted!