...

hey, thursday night again... well, well... definitely, tomorrow i have a class as usual as always... prelims is already fast-approaching...another mind-boggling week... ganyan talaga ang buhay. at least, i'm learning from it. wala akong masabing sensible ngayon.. para kasing wala ako sa mood ngayon.. anyway, at last the elevator is now working.. thank God ayos na rin! excited di naman actually last week pa ayos yun salamat naman at di n ako magpapakapagod sa pag-akyat hnggang 7th floor, imagine!! baket hindi, nakaya ko nman in fairness... pero seriously, for a person like me everything counts... i learned to treasure all the things that i have kaya nga i accepted the challenge of going to college even though i know that its tough and its not that easy coz i have a goal... and i know i'm already on my way there... at isa pa, there is no permanent in this world... everything is changing either for the better or for worse.. that's why. at the same time, sad din ako ngayon my little batchy dies this day... that's all share ko lang... see ya ulit next time...

Weekend already!!!!

At last, it's weekend already! i really do love weekends!!!! the whole week has always been a stressful days for me... don't ask why i know you understand... imagine i have to walk up to the stairs, slowly to make sure i'm not slipping off... and in my condition it's very very hard... to be in the shoes of a person that is one of a kind... naks!

the elevator is out of order until now and i wonder when will they fix it?!!?! speaking of disappointments in life, i have a lot more to share...just kidding... i failed a first quiz in my philcon subj. how pathetic am i?!!!! but that's life, i'll just try my best to make it next time... sometimes, people has the tendency to underestimate other people's abilities especially when it comes to academics. they try to focus on what they see in their naked eye rather on the things that comes from within which is more valuable than any other gold... i do always tried not to be bitter about other people's actuations against me, but there are times that they get into my nerves and i started hating them...i admit it, i'm not a people-pleaser nor i'm pre-judging them... all i'm saying is that I was born with an abnormalities and what's wrong with that?! why can't they see me as me... a person who keeps on searching her place in this society like any other normal person does...why can't they see that a handicapped person also have the ability and the potential like an average person does??? I don't keep any bitterness inside me but that's what i observe in a society that we have... somehow, what do we expect pa nga ba?? people already blinded their eyes to hide their own imperfections and they focus on the imperfection of others... without their knowledge, that's totally stupid! all of us don't have the right to question other people's strengths and weaknesses because that's the way they are... God created us in a unique way that He's the only one that has the right to question us... but he never did, and he will never did... and thanks to him because if He did who can stand it???of course no person can stand it... coz admit it or not we're not perfect... we have our shortcomings, weaknesses, frustrations, and disappointments that's inside in all of us...

sorry, i got carried away...come to think of it, that all i'm saying here is true and it's happening...even if we are aware or not...
i guess, it would be enough for now... i really need some rest... later, i'll have to study my notes... i'm not depressed, i just want to share something or whatsoever that's all... see yah

Only 4 2day!

As I’m standing in front of you today, I’m not asking for you to pity me or whatsoever, I’ve gone through a lot in my life, which I know you can never withstand it. I don’t want to sound bitter here.. But, just spare me your time to listen, Be aware of my yearnings and needs, Nurture me like any other normal kids, Talk to me in a gentle manner as if you are my closest friend, Comfort me when I’m weary, Because this world makes me so teary
Protect me from any harm, I do hope it makes you alarm. Guide me through all the rest of my life,
Because I really want to give up this fight, Help me to see in a different perspective like yours,
For me not to be blinded by the things I seen, Grant me your wisdom to do justice in all things,
Cleanse me from all the troubles and wearies of the world, Strengthen me to endure these difficult days,
When people love only in a selfish ways, Teach me to love and accept myself as you did before me,
So that I could also love my neighbors in return, And above all, please hold me to be always faithful in you in many ways, Even if it’s only for today…

I CAN MAKE IT!!!!!!

I have no classes today... still here... well i don't know, what i really felt. i guess, i'm tired, upset, worried; a mixed of everything?! uhmm, college??? stressful... but on the lighter side, at least there are some changes happening on my everyday routine.. i really hate when people stares at me as if they want to degrade me as person... it hurts me so much!!! feels like i'm fading away... its not my fault to be born like this, to be like an outcasts in this society... i know, i cannot please everybody. but why do i mind them anyway?! i'm not living my life to live up to their expectations...why don't they see that i am only me???!!!!!!!
I know, deep within me.. I CAN MAKE IT!!!! i'll prove something to them...please Jah strengthen me to stand up against this people, i know, i have a long, long way to go... give me the wisdom to view things in your perspective... always grant me with your loving-kindness to endure in this difficult times...comfort me in a times like this where people love only themselves...

I.O. CT type

Osteolysis induced by AV-fistula in idiopathic carpotarsal osteolysis
http://ndt.oxfordjournals.org/cgi/content/full/18/10/2185?eaf

Some strange Thoughts of Me

Actually, I didn't know what am I supposed to say here... I'm been always acting so strange every now and then.. something is bothering me, I don't know. I really just want to be myself, be not anybody. Someone who has the courage to stand on her own feet and face the world as if nothing is happening. I admit it, I've been one of those who victimized by this system, a system made of lies, foolish hopes, materialistic goals, so forth and so on. You name it! you got it. This system I'm talking about has a lot to offer but it can never make you contented until your heart cries out. All have been said and done but no one pays attention.
You might be living in a mansion that has a lot of things that you need or a bunch of cash in your pockets as if you can buy the whole universe or a luxurious car that you're neighbors ever wanted to have, or you might be a doctor, an engineer, an architect, a celebrity, a person who-has-it-all or something like that. Tell me. Honestly, are you contented with what this life has to offer?? or its just like a one-minute fame so why grab it?? Come to think of it, we are been fooled long time ago by our own selfish goals and odd aspirations in life. When we're young our parents or elders ask us, what we want to be when we got older or what course we want in college??? And here we are claiming I want to be like this, I want to be like someone-who-has-it-all or to have a profession that has a good job opportunities or to be on TV to live like a celebrity..
We are all hypocrite to say that once in a lifetime it doesn't ever comes to our mind. But does it all the reason why we are here?? If it really does, then its up to you. What I'm saying is that why don't we just sometimes sit back and have a second thought, recollecting ourselves for something worthwhile to live forward to. Anyway, never mind of what I'm saying here, it's your life, enjoy it!!!

hey, it's me.. still wondering what to do next in my pc. :)

whatever

sa wakas, malapit na mag-2nd sem. mkkpg-aral na rin ako. i'm hoping it would gonna be a lot of fun and experience to treasure... la lang me maibalita!!! ehehehehe nxt tym na lang ulit...

InSiDe mY FraGiLe MiNd

I just once thought I was nothing… a nobody, such an ordinary face…still trying to find the meaning.. Looking in, looking back recollecting... having a place in this deceitful, opinionated, psychoactive, damn world… How about me being numb for just a moment? Will pain ever cease… so that life would be much at ease? Like a helpless kid who yawns…yawns all through out the day… until have been notice and to be heard.
The same old brand new things running inside this fragile mind… Once have been victims of paranoia… paranoia of thyself… like someone is watching over you… Stereotypes? What I think about them? Seems always under the pressure of living on someone else’s shoes… they’re boxed to what they supposed to be… Egotism? Exaggerated sense of self-importance…similarly to egocentric, self-centered, selfish and the like… commonly known as "me-first" attitude… they’re irritating to the ears… Boast? Praising oneself or one’s possessions… they seem bought the whole wide world…Naïve? Refer as innocent and unsophisticated…easily deceived… they’re playing safe…that’s all right…Assumption? Take as granted…wrong assumptions is fatal…
A Hero? One that is much admired or shows great courage…it’s a rare species nowadays…Courage? Innate ability to conquer fears or despairs…opposite of coward…bravery is the other term…give me some a lot of dose. Conservative is old-fashioned; out of date…ok, but not much you’ll never grow… A Handicap? An advantage given or disadvantage imposes to equalize a competition…lesson: learn to count your blessings…Optimism is the tendency to hope for the best no matter what…that’s what we all need… Pessimism? Inclination to expect worst…maybe, you wake up at the wrong side of bed today…Hope is the desire with expectation of fulfillment…remember, at the end of the rainbow there’s a pot of gold, we shouldn’t lose hope…
Love? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 states: Love is long suffering and kind…love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked… it does not keep account of the injury… it does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, It bears all things, endures all things… Love never fails… Faith means belief and trust in God…"we are walking by faith not by sight" says Apostle Paul.

..life, oh life..oh life

in the past few weeks, it's seems that there are so many things that happened that I can never imagine. uhmm.. pano ko ba sisimulan? i finally running out of words, ang hirap talaga ng ganito ang daming iniisip...pero seriously, palagi naman akong serious eh, ewan ko ba... parang none sense lahat ng sinasabi ko dito gets nyo. labo koh noh.. anyway, narealize ko na ganun pla ang buhay in a blink of an eye bigla n lng naglalaho, nawawala na parang bula, di mo n lang mamalayan...it only happens when reality bites.. sa bagay, paki-alam ba nmn ng iba... di na bago yan. kya nga mas maganda hbng buhay pa tayo, we should treasure it, make the best of it, 'lam ko it's something like an old cliche, as it goes, live life to the fullest.. ok ba yun, pati tuloy ako naguguluhan...ganyan talaga ang buhay! there's no permanent, when you look at the other side marerealize mo, changes goes unstoppable... pero may nagsasabi na, it's like a rolllercoaster ride, anything goes, you'll never know what lies ahead...basta, all that i know is that there are so many things in this life that is unexplainable... full of surprises.. iniisip ko pa lang, para bang kailan kong mag-double time coz we'll never know where life will take us or how long it would take to be in this life... sabagay may resurrection naman eh, & that's the advantage for those people who knows the truth.. they can easily accept the kind of life in this system may brought them... and eventually learn to move on like nothing happens....

we're just an earthbound... easily deceive, lots of imperfection... but we're just so blessed to have Jehovah God's undeserved loving kindness and come to think of it, of all the things that we did, Jehovah God is always there.. to renewed our heavy loads...comfort us in times of distress...guide us when we are lost... protect us from harm like a loving parent... & also to bring out the best in us. And because of HIM, I never know where I am right now so I really owe a lot to Him... I guess, all of us has that kind of gratitude that burns the flame to even love him more that we could ever do...

A better life? Where have u been??

Here I go again... Honestly, I'm trying to convince myself that everything is doing okay. Actually, I'm really not. People around me makes me feel so upset and intimidated. I was not sure when its gonna last. I was just hoping that everything would be back to normal now or least in a few days. I don't know what can I say to you... All this circumstances makes me feel so weak inside. How I wish I'm back to school again so that I wouldn't be this kind of person. In this past few months, I've had been an unproductive person. My mind became stagnant and trap in this so called "four corners". I got nothing to do or I can't help it but to accept the realities of life because there are some things in life that we cannot change or in other words permanent.
When I was a child, it seems that there's no reason for me to be worry about whatsoever and worry is no room for me. Maybe because our parents are the one who used to manage our lives and we're just obliged to accept that fact whether we like it or not. I guess you would agree with that at that time, life is more easier and worry-free about those things that could crumble our future. We are contented on what's on our table and cherish it as if it were our last. We used to run wild and free in the street of life with no burden place on our backs. We can do whatever we want, speak on what's on our mind and act according to our own free will without thinking twice. Lately, I realized that I was really wrong. Circumstances and people are like the same. They change quickly as for the better or for worse. Actually, I'm not afraid of making changes because it's unevitable. But the thing is I am not a robot or a doll that you can manipulate all through her existence. I just want a better life... yeah, I know, who doesn't want that? A life that has tranquility, peace of mind, free from all the things that can sabotage me as a person. I want a real friend who will always be there for you in times of need and in deeds, to have a diploma that my mother will always cherished. I know, a better life is impossible for me in this system because this world is full of imperfection. Anyway, it's just like a childhood dream that I'm still craving for all through this years. Well, I got nothing to do but to accept all this realities that I'm facing right now. I just do hope and pray that Jehovah God will always be there for me and suffice that incredible strength for me to overcome all this anxieties and obstacles in life. I know, I wouldn't be disappointed and that's a fact. Maybe it's enought for right now... I will be back here sooooooon.. :)

Examining the Scriptures 2005

Daily Text for Today - August 14, '05 Sunday

"Reside in the earth, and deal with faithfulness." - Ps. 37:3


"The earth" of David's day was the territory of Jehovah had given to Israel, the Promised Land. During Solomon's reign its boundaries reached from Dan in the north to Beer-sheba in the South. This was Israel's residence. (1 Ki. 4:25) Today, wherever we live on earth, we look forward to the time when the whole planet will become a paradise in the new world of righteousness. In the meantime, we reside in spiritual security. (Isa. 65:13,14) What will be the result when we "dealt with faithfulness"? The inspired proverb reminds us: "A man of faithful acts will get many blessings." (Prov.28:20) Our faithfully persevering in preaching the good news wherever we live and to whomever we can certainly brings rewards from Jehovah. Yes, when we "deal with faithfulness". we receive and appreciate many blessings. w 12/1/03 9,10

Winter Breeze

I made this poem three years ago:

I have a friend by the mountain by the sea
She stare at the sky to pray the whole day
That somewhere along the way
She can find her own sweet way
Longing some comfort to ease pain
As she walk along the lane
Longing for someone to wipe her tears
As it rolled along her cheeks
Like the coming of the winter breeze
That lets her heart freeze

Her eyes is the window of her soul
That deep inside her lies
A melancholic cries
A world of tomorrow that she lacks
As time goes and never comes back
Her body dwells the coldness of her heart
That slowly tear her apart
Like her old old hopes never met,
For only time can tell,
If all wounds healed.

So cast your troubles away, my dear friend
For there's sunshine after every strain,
For every little teardrop that is shed and every scars will mend
For every burden, every care
There's a reason
For only God knows the reason,
For our hearts knows no reason at all.

Just thankful and gratified

At last, I did it again.. a blog account...Actually, I just tried it if it really works. So far, yeah yes it is... Anyway, I can say that its been a nice day for me. And this blogging thing really does excites me. I'm hoping that I have a lot of things to share with you guys. You see, I'm just new in this kind of thing. First of all, let me say some trivias about myself. Basically, I'm just a simple person, a typical kid who has its ups and downs, weakness and strengths, hopes and fears..When it comes to friendship, I'm not that demonstrative on showing on my emotions to others. But as a whole I'm a type of a friend that you can always depend on especially in times of need. You can seek me some pieces of advices that I know can help a lot. I'm very much open to new ideas, constructive criticisms, suggestions and opinions anything that can start a good conversation. But there are times when I feel very much alone with myself. I used to have this feeling started in my childhood years. When I was just 6yrs. old, I was diagnosed to have a rare disease of the bones which they say scientifically as "Idiopathic Osteolysis Carpo-Tarsal Type. I was raised into a simple family household in the Philippines. At the first stage of my sickness, it means nothing to me because everything is doing fine and my parents was just happy seeing me growing as a healthy and normal child. Not until, when I'm having hard time to walk to school. I felt an unbearable pain in my knees which I always complain to my mom and after a few months I eventually stop walking. I became crippled for almost five years of my life and it started when I was just 10yrs. old. But my mom never losses hope that Jehovah is good and that He would never leave us in this kind of situation. And I can say that what I am today is I owe to them and of course to our Almighty God Jehovah. As a child, I grown up like any other kids who enjoyed outdoor games like running and jumping that seems there's no tomorrow and its sometimes good. Because I believe that every kids in the world has the right to enjoy life whatever the circumstances are and therefore should not be deprived with this simple means like playing and doing things that make them happy. At that time, I don't feel or rather consider myself different to them coz it seems that there is nothing pollutes my mind. I guess, you know what I mean. But all in all, I do consider myself as being blessed with all the goodness of the Lord. I come to think that Jehovah is so good to have me bought to this world and to experience how to be loved and be loved by those extraordinary people that came into my life. I was still blessed to have this other senses that most people often neglected and keeping that on mind everyday makes me feel thankful and gratifide as time goes by. Aside from that, the hope that someday everything will be back to normal again in paradise (Revelation 21:3-4) made me carry on amidst all the things in this current system of things. I really want to throw all my fears, all the bitterness, all the anxieties, all the negative things. I just want to focus myself with the most worthy things. I guess, it would be all good for now. I just hope that there are some good things happen to me for me to share to all of you out there... :)