A better life? Where have u been??

Here I go again... Honestly, I'm trying to convince myself that everything is doing okay. Actually, I'm really not. People around me makes me feel so upset and intimidated. I was not sure when its gonna last. I was just hoping that everything would be back to normal now or least in a few days. I don't know what can I say to you... All this circumstances makes me feel so weak inside. How I wish I'm back to school again so that I wouldn't be this kind of person. In this past few months, I've had been an unproductive person. My mind became stagnant and trap in this so called "four corners". I got nothing to do or I can't help it but to accept the realities of life because there are some things in life that we cannot change or in other words permanent.
When I was a child, it seems that there's no reason for me to be worry about whatsoever and worry is no room for me. Maybe because our parents are the one who used to manage our lives and we're just obliged to accept that fact whether we like it or not. I guess you would agree with that at that time, life is more easier and worry-free about those things that could crumble our future. We are contented on what's on our table and cherish it as if it were our last. We used to run wild and free in the street of life with no burden place on our backs. We can do whatever we want, speak on what's on our mind and act according to our own free will without thinking twice. Lately, I realized that I was really wrong. Circumstances and people are like the same. They change quickly as for the better or for worse. Actually, I'm not afraid of making changes because it's unevitable. But the thing is I am not a robot or a doll that you can manipulate all through her existence. I just want a better life... yeah, I know, who doesn't want that? A life that has tranquility, peace of mind, free from all the things that can sabotage me as a person. I want a real friend who will always be there for you in times of need and in deeds, to have a diploma that my mother will always cherished. I know, a better life is impossible for me in this system because this world is full of imperfection. Anyway, it's just like a childhood dream that I'm still craving for all through this years. Well, I got nothing to do but to accept all this realities that I'm facing right now. I just do hope and pray that Jehovah God will always be there for me and suffice that incredible strength for me to overcome all this anxieties and obstacles in life. I know, I wouldn't be disappointed and that's a fact. Maybe it's enought for right now... I will be back here sooooooon.. :)