An Average-Everyday-Sane-Psycho
I've been tryin' to write something in here since last week but I couldn't make it because a lot of distractions coming out of my way. Anyway, here I am again trying to make things better for me because I really need this thing to come out of my chest. I've been restless a couple of weeks now and still thinking how to deal with all these things happening.
In my desire to at least have some sleep, my eyes crossed upon the four corners of my room and the old calendar dated last year. It brought so many things in my mind about what I really wanted to do with my life. It was really frustrating in my part when I easily given in to my failures. But in a way, it stirs my eagerness to try again after all this time. You see, I'm coming out of my age and things aren't just like before when I was ten. So many things change for the better and sometimes for worse.
I just wanted to do the things on my own without being so excessively dependent on to them. I want to make a difference even though I don't even know how to start. I'm eager to gather up myself again forget about the past and the hurly-burlies in this life. I would love to enjoy the life ahead of me without being careless of my responsiblities. I don't want to be my mother's burden and just the same as I don't want to be a slave of my own insecurities. I guess, that's what we all people have in common. Whoever we are, we tend to feel insecure once in our lives especially when we are pressurized by the norms of our society. We sometimes live up our lives in a certain manner or pattern to what is acceptable to the majority. Not knowing, we end up full of regrets and excuses.
What else? Well, that was just an observation... It's up to you people....
Anyway, about happened a couple of weeks ago... We've been to the hospital for my check-up and I almost forgot to tell you that last April 27, I've gone through my 2nd operation in my lower extremities. And it almost a month a now, so.... I really hate to complain!! I can't do anything but just to wait and see. My casts would take about 3 months for the doctor to remove the bondage and for wound to be healed... but you know, the discomfort seems so disgusting... still patience is a virtue... aside from that, I know that Jehovah will always be there for everyone of us. That would be enough for me rest my head for knowing that.
A lot of tests and tribulations are been up to us especially between our family. It's almost there and the gap between us and my dad seems to be just plain. Yeah, it would be very hurtful for the part of my mom because she's been always there for us ever since and here's this problem that my dad used to throw up to her. Whenever I see my dad, I never stop questioning myself how could he ever do this to my mom? I know. We're all not perfect. We easily given in to our weaknesses but I guess one mistake could not be corrected by another mistake....
What do you think guys?? *sighs
