The feeling I felt yesterday!

Yesterday, I was struggling with my emotions of deep anger about my father. How can he be so damn insensitive about what his family truly felt regarding his betrayal to us. I really don't know what we're gonna do about it. It's really hard to have that courage to stand still especially there is this person who is so close to you drifted you in a way that you never thought. I hate to make judgment about him but that is the truth. I don't want to put all the blame on him about what's happening but he allowed it. As a family, a kid, we never ask so much to him that he can never give and this is what he did to us.

I don't know what will gonna happens next in this coming months. But to tell you the truth, it feels like I have thorns at my chest be'coz of this things happening to us. It envy me especially whenever I see a family who is close and open to each other and seeing a father who is so supportive to his wife and kids. I don't want us to compare to other families but I can't help it. There is this gap between all of us to him that whenever he's here there's a doubt to what his saying and the way he treated us. I'm just hoping that our good Lord helped him to open up his eyes and his heart to live his life according to God's standard.

Anyways, I'm planning to enroll in a distance learning study somehow to get a short term degree in creative writing or anything that suits me. I guess, that is a good idea since my whole time was spend here at home and things would be more convenient for me while my medication is still going on. These days seems that I really can't smile or have a rest for awhile be'coz you see in a minute or two problems are always get me pissed off.

Uhhhmm, when will that be? I mean the day when all this troubles be so far away... sound like a song?! (^_^) :D I hope my next log on here, I would share some good news so that it would not ruined your day. If there's a good thing to share, why not! :) :D (^_^)

Well, my life has always been the same pathetic as I am... Do you agree? :) (^_^) tsk, tsk, tsk...

I'll come back soooooon!!! (^_^) Paalam!